Miss Know-It-All

Makayla tried to like the girl who moved in next door, but she just couldn’t. Very soon she grew tired of hearing about the girl’s former (better) school, former (cuter) teacher, and former (cooler) friends. To Makayla, it seemed the new girl looked down on everything and everyone—including Makayla. When Makayla or her friends talked, the new girl tilted her head sideways and arched one eyebrow. She sniffed a lot and rolled her eyes. She was called Snooty Sara behind her back.

Before long, Makayla and her friends avoided the new girl. They were tired of the putdowns, her swaggering, the disdainful looks whenever they spoke. One day Sara bragged to the wrong person—their volleyball coach—about how great her former team was and how talented she was in particular. The coach just smiled, then she told Sara that she used to live near Sara’s hometown. She’d coached in a neighboring town before taking her current job. Her old college roommate had actually coached Sara’s former team—through one losing streak after another. Sara wilted in embarrassment as her lies crumbled. “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18 TNIV)

Don’t look down on others. Think of people as equal—or even better—than yourself. Then pride won’t creep in. Give snoot the boot!

True Value

When Jessica moved to a new town and started middle school, she studied the various groups of girls. Who would be her new friends? Only a couple people from her new Sunday school class attended her middle school. She liked both Teri and Elizabeth—they were fun and kind and friendly—but they definitely weren’t “cool.” On the other hand, Brit and Kayla were obviously the most popular girls. Boys swarmed around them. They invited Jessica to sit at their lunch table, and at first, Jessica was thrilled to be singled out. But the filthy language she heard there—and the nasty backbiting of other students—made her feel dirty. Jessica had a choice to make. Would she choose friends of excellent moral value with high standards? Or would she settle for friends with glitz but no character?

How can you learn to prize what God values? Read God’s Word and let it change your thinking. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 TNIV) Choosing what God values will place you in the center of his will—and there’s no better place on earth to be!

It's Your Choice

The first week in her new middle school, Melissa watched kids quietly. She finally decided which group she wanted to belong to, and she planned how to get them to accept her. They finally did, but this group’s activities landed Melissa in trouble. One weekend everything blew up in her face. Finally Melissa prayed, “Lord, I guess I don’t know how to choose good friends. You can see into their hearts. Please bring me the friends you want me to have.” Melissa was lonely for a few weeks, but then she was paired in a flute duet with a girl she truly liked. Later she shared an assigned spot in the science lab with another girl who turned out to be a believer.

When you let God choose for you—whether it’s friends, clothes, or extracurricular activities—you’ll end up with God’s best. Be patient. Continue to pray while you wait. Don’t get in a hurry and settle for less than the Promised Land God has in mind for you.

Fooled by Flattery

You have been best friends with Sara for three years, but when Britney moves in next door to you, things change. Every time Sara calls you, Britney is there. Britney now rides to school with you too. You wish you could be best friends with them both. Britney is so sophisticated, and she thinks you’re the cutest girl in your class. She also gushes about your parents being cool, your house being neat, and your baby brother being adorable. Soon Britney is running in and out of your house as if it were her own. However, a month later things began to disappear from your home: your dad’s watch, money from your mom’s purse, a DVD. You are horrified to realize that things turn up missing after Britney has visited. You were so flattered by Britney’s praise that you didn’t see the real reason behind it.

Unfortunately, there are some phony people in the world. Like Britney, such people are looking for people to use. “These people . . . boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage.”(Jude 16 TNIV) Sincere compliments from a friend are wonderful! But wise up—and don’t be fooled by phony flattery.

Settle Down!

You pace back and forth across the living room, muttering under your breath. You can’t believe it. Both your best friends have been chosen for pep squad, but not you! Your cheers at tryouts were just as good as theirs! Why weren’t you chosen? Weren’t you pretty enough? Had you looked awkward or stupid? The more you fume, the worse you feel.

Not being chosen for pep squad is disappointing—but you’re allowing yourself to get emotionally troubled by keeping your mind stirred up. Two hours later, when you have a headache and upset stomach, you decide to get a grip. You pour your heart out to God, giving him your frustration and disappointment—and fear that your friends will now leave you behind. You let it go and allow Jesus’ peace to fill your heart, calm your emotions, and settle your thoughts.

Yes, it’s disappointing. But tryouts are over, and you still have all the good things in your life that you had before. God is in control, and he knows more about the situation than you do. Remember, “The LORD will give strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with peace.” (Psalm 29:11 NKJV)

The Whole Truth--and Nothing But?

Maybe you have two friends. They both tell you the truth, but one feels warm and caring, while the other girl’s “truth” cuts deep. When you all try out for the track team, Girlfriend #1 says to you, “You’re a natural for long distance running. You hardly broke a sweat running the mile!” Fake Friend #2 also speaks the truth. “You know, your short legs are stubby, so don’t even think about hurdles. You’ll fall flat on your face.” Both girls spoke the truth, but only one spoke the truth in love.

What are some signs of growth in believers? They speak words of truth, but in a loving manner. They aren’t brutal, then claim, “I’m just telling the truth. Don’t be so touchy.” Their love is also honest. “Love must be sincere.” (Romans 12:9 TNIV) No faking allowed! True Christian love is open and genuine, not two-faced and phony. A growing Christian backs up her loving words with action. “Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18 NKJV) As you grow, let love guide you—in your thoughts, words, and actions.

Solid as Rock

Michelle’s sixth grade year was one long trial after another. In church camp the summer before, she was challenged to be bolder in her faith. So she decided to “come out of hiding.” Until now, she never mentioned church at school. She didn’t explain why she skipped certain movies or didn’t dress in the popular tight tees and mini-skirts. Michelle just tried to be nice and blend in. She never had to defend her faith—because no one knew she had any. Then in sixth grade, she wore her cross necklace and “What Would Jesus Do?” tee-shirt. She got noticed—and teased. When Michelle took stands on issues, she was often alone. But this was her attitude throughout: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:13-14 TNIV) She put her trust in God and focused on him instead of those who ridiculed her. Eventually, two girls told Michelle they were Christians too, and Michelle made two excellent friends.

Dress for Success

You’re late for church again, and as you hurry toward the youth building, you spot a girl in your group with her arms full. The large flat box she’s carrying looks like a donut box. Trying to buy popularity again, you think, slowing down. You’ve watched her for several weeks. She was new to the church, but everyone knew her name by now—especially the boys. She always brought food, and they swarmed around her at every meeting. You understand that she wants to be accepted, but in your opinion, that’s not the way to go about it. Most of the girls could barely stand her now.

You see her trying to balance the box of donuts and her Bible and get the door open. Maybe she’ll spill them on the ground, you think hopefully. Then you hear the unmistakable nudge from God. If she were in a wheelchair, wouldn’t you hurry and open the door for her? Do you have to like a person or feel superior in order to be kind to someone? Ouch. You decide to "put on kindness" and hurry to open the door. You even carry her Bible for her as you enter the youth room together.

"Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Colossians 3:12 NIV) The next time you’re dressing for success, give less thought to your color scheme and more thought to the character clothing you want to wear. Envision yourself dressing in a shirt of kindness, a hat of patience, a coat of gentleness, a skirt of humility, and shoes of peace. Now that makes a godly fashion statement!